fish-eye lens

I think I'm going to go blind. my eyes are vibrating and have been all morning. like they want to pop.

this is after a restless night of sleep. I was up at 2:45am to get some water. granted, I had about two pint of water before I went to bed at 10:30.

is there MSG in sushi? does mercury make you go blind? could I be hung over from the rice wine vinegar? maybe it's just my fortitude and virility is so high after the Barnaby's Oyster... Uni, Ikura, quail egg yolk and an oyster are better than drugs. I want to nail someone.

oh, well, I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. sight is over-rated, anyway. when's the next binge-fest?

last night's fish-o-rama was the pay-off of a bet with my friend Squeegie. a fitness-related 3-month resolution. accountability and the fear of witnessing a friend's feeding frenzy on your dollar is fantabulous motivation. it turns out I'm not as lazy as I thought.

thank you Ebisu.

12:22 p.m. 2005-04-29

hair-razing

if I was a woman, I wouldn't shave my legs just to fit in. if it made me happier, then I'd understand. not so much vanity shaving or boy-swoon-inducing, just something to make me more comfortable in my body.

electrolysis and laser hair removal make sense to me. don't get me wrong, I barely shave my face every other day. smooth, formerly-twinky me understands the lure of a promise of permanence. sadly, even I choose to clipper my pantyline. well, within the borders.

I don't like long ass-crack hair. when I would ride a lot, it would tug and pull and chafe my tender, um, outer rectal area. I'm not a shaver... just a trimmer.

same goes for the front lawn my carpet is so thick, you'd think it would pill. rough and wirey, it just needs the weedwacker every now and then. mow it into a crewcut. I may do some edging with a razor to create the velvety softness du sac. but, again, that's for me, not because society demands it.

I just never get around to it. or my nose hair (often plucking the hardier offenders). or the seven or so hairs playing ring-around my nipple. or an armpit buzz. as I age, I recognize that even eyebrows and ear topiaries need to be kept in check!

I hate chores. I no longer paint my toenails (I used to before every race) because I couldn't deal. too much maintenance. not a priority. messy clean-up.

maintenance in any form is a bother. time just passes by, weeks past due for my semi-annual dental check-up. hundreds of miles beyond an oil change. months between when I need a haircut until I finally get one. (thank goodness for a homemade suedehead.)

maybe it's just choosing how to spend my free time. or making "me" time.

or accepting my patchy, spotty inner-bear that's just dying to sprout.

10:27 a.m. 2005-04-27

jot it down

and at some point I should tell you how we bought a loft in SOMA, I turned 32, synchro is going swimmingly (team, trio and duet) and work ebbs and flows...

9:35 a.m. 2005-04-25

trudgingly

all kinds of down today. something just isn't quite right. even traffic driving in seemed to be experiencing the same dense fog the has swaddled my mind. I feel slow. off. disinterested.

the weekend was fine, plenty of knitting (sample swatches), a nap, swimming and a BBQ. grocery shopping was done early on Sunday and much time was spent relaxing in front of the TV. not enough time was spent preparing for the move, but we still have five weeks.

before getting out of bed this morning, I dreamt that we had a ballet class here at work and I was trying to do my opening bar exercises and the HR/Ops woman who was the teacher, wanted to forego the warm-up and hop right into jumps. I think there were point shoes involved. (funny that Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo are performing at Cal next week—a sign I should go?)

lastly, today would have been my grandmother's 91st birthday.

9:09 a.m. 2005-04-25

going against my-graine

such a freakin' headache right now. I'm drinking plenty of water and currently trying some green tea to see if the caffeine will dialate my blood vessels.

could be daylight savings, could be not enough sleep, could be stress. it looks like we're not going to be buying a home anytime soon. not here in the Bay Area. not unless it's a 30-year fixed rate.

economic conservatism cramps my style. and my head.

11:55 a.m. 2005-04-04

past - future