re-alignment

it's funny, a lot has happened since my last entry. something big that I still haven't really figured out, but as I read the previous entry, something that mildly forshadowed.

so I didn't get that award, as I mentioned. however, I did get the biggest, highest, most prestigious award that they just started this year. an MVP, combining our company's five bottom lines and business philosophy. I'm the first-ever recipient of said award, further cementing my legacy at this institution. and I was just happy with the nomination for the social butterfly/wacky gay guy one.

in typing, I realize I haven't really stopped to think about the meaning of this and it's impact on my work. in the end, it's a big (but taxed) cash award and, a publicly-acknowledged account of my growth, maturity and contribution to our workplace. I haven't even written thank-you cards yet. something to do over holiday break.

for all of my whining and complaining about work, this certainly re-frames my attitude. it's a big responsibility to be called out in front of your colleagues. my acceptance speech was a stammered disbelief and quick demonstration of my splits skills. now I have a mantle or responsibility to do even better. to help others love this place as much as I do. to lead by example and realize I'm being watched.

it's tough, as for the past four weeks I've been a big dog-obsessed. first it was the English Bulldog that almost fell into our laps, but then was returned to his original owner. weekly visits to my future volunteering and meeting residents. applications to two rescues. email exchanges with a local food blogger who happens to be a state contact of one of the aforementioned rescues.

on top of that, my contact at our online agency is leaving the company, and there are various F-ups and messes that have recently occurred. I'll be cleaning them up in 2006. I should do a little work on one of those right now. it's not going to be an easy New Year, nor has it been an easy 2005.

I'm just glad it's ended nicer than expected. if only there was a furball to make it complete.

(please note: there will be no gift-giving of canines, so I didn't write that last sentence with the hopes of willing it into reality. I just want a dog.)

11:33 a.m. 2005-12-22

fear, fame and a bit of pride

dreary rainy day, coming down so hard that I waited a minute before leaving my car to brave the parking lot.

today was supposed to be a fun one-off, our annual company meeting, a manditory 8-plus hours of speeches, applause, updates, awards, more applause, and this year, improv exercises and storytelling. a bit self-indulgent, perhaps making the corporate head grow a little larger on its shoulders.

however, within in seconds of entering, I was confronted by LB or JH and told that a dear BFF had been picked up and driven to the hospital. to visit his wife who apparently had had an anneurism. nothing like mortality first thing in the morning.

we're still awaiting word. all that's known is she was transferred to Stanford, she was mobile and talking, and she was having surgery toady. for his and her sake, I hope they're OK.

I don't really remember my purpose of writing this. I think there was a connection between December 1st, a fun company day and World AIDS Day/A Day Without Art. but I don't remember that connection. something else to nail down in memory, lunch with our guest speakers, Frances More Lappe and her daughter Anna Lappe.

also, a great exchange with MF, the boss. found out that I was a nominee for one of our company awards (based on our five bottom lines). nominee, not winner. boss-lady praised me for the past two years of really hard work and growth. she likes me.

11:02 p.m. 2005-12-01

past - future